Orbson's Darkest Secrets Revealed

Okay, after the Debt Ceiling blog, I really need to embrace my whimsical side. So I have decided to allow you to enter into the darkest recesses of my mind and explore Orbson’s most embarrassing secrets. You know the types of secrets I mean. You’re at a party and have no problem commenting on your fondness for Adele’s unique voice. However, when you’re in your car alone you’re jamming to Britney Spears’ “Hold it Against Me”. I personally have an eclectic taste in music with something like 6,800 tracks on my IPOD including both Adele and Britney. I have everything from classical to heavy metal and even a few “unable to classify” albums thrown in. However, my darkest secrets in music are far worse than Britney:

First CD I ever bought – Tiffany. I would love to say I only bought it because I was a teenager and she was gorgeous but that doesn’t explain why I still know all of the words to “I Think We’re Alone Now” and “Could’ve Been”.

Most embarrassing album on my IPOD – There are many contenders but I think my collection of various Disney songs probably wins. The fact that even though I have not listened to it in years I still know all of the songs by heart is deeply disturbing. “We are Siamese if you please… meow…” 10 points if you know what movie this is from. I do.

Currently blushing on – Oh God, this one really hurts. Okay, deep breath. “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. Please stop, I can already feel the condemnation gushing out of you, through the Internet and all over my pretty blog. I have no idea what else she sings, but that song is freakin catchy. Oh yeah, I like Avril Lavigne too. She is not nearly as embarrassing as Miley but is probably worthy of an honorable mention.

Okay, time to move on to books. Well, I am not sure it is that embarrassing but I have a thing for young adult novels. Lately I have been finding the stories more compelling the literature geared to an older audience. Instead of spending four pages describing the chair they are sitting on, I actually get a good story. Hunger Games, Divergent, Fault in our Stars. Winning.

When I am not reading about sparkling teenage vampires, I’m watching movies and TV shows. I could come up with dozens of example of just how “off” I am in this genre but I had to narrow it down to a few: The Cutting Edge – one of the greatest movies of all time. Make it or Break it – An ABC Family channel show about gymnastics. Glee- Oh wait, Glee is not embarrassing it is just AWESOME. Love Actually - My second favorite movie of all time. Moulin Rouge – I know it was nominated for Best Picture but when I tell people it is my #1 favorite movie of all time they tend to get that judgmental look in their eyes. It could be because 6 foot 4 guys who look like football players probably shouldn’t be found singing and dancing to “Elephant Love Medley”. But hey, I am totally comfortable being me. Finally, it is worth noting that Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, The O.C. and Ghost Whisperer make up an entire shelf of my DVD collection.

The moral of this blog is this: You are reading words that are written by a freak. If you like these words then you too may be a freak. Don’t fret, there is plenty of room in the club and we have a lot more fun than the boring people. We even have balloons and cake! I know this is a brand new blog and I have all of three readers thus far but I’d be curious to know what dark secret interests you are hiding. Is Howard The Duck your favorite movie? Do you go gaga for Justin Beiber? A Teletubby fetish? Come on and fess us up boys and girls, cuz it’s share time!

That’s all for now, gotta run and listen to Harry Potter on my IPOD.

Just finished reading: “Thr3e” by Ted Dekker. An entertaining summer read. Fast paced, with an intricately woven plot. Won’t be studied in schools 100 years from now, but is definitely good for a summer’s day. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.



New Word in My Vocabulary: “Trending” not sure how long it has been around, but it is everywhere now. You might say that “trending” is now trending. Hmm, I hope Orbson Rice will be trending soon.

Please help me...

The N.F.L. or More Aptly, "No Fan Love"

The NFL lockout may be nearing its inevitable end. This should be great news but I realized that someone is going to be royally screwed when the collective bargaining agreement is finalized- ME. Okay, really I should say all fans but frankly I don’t care enough about other people’s opinions to be that inclusive. So, why am I being screwed you ask? In the coming days the millionaires and billionaires will find a way to divvy up a shitload of money and I am not getting a penny!

Why should I share in the rewards of professional football? Well consider this: The NFL family (owners, players, coaches, administration, etc.) get money from ticket sales, concession stands, restaurants, sports paraphernalia, parking spaces and most importantly TV contracts and advertising. Now I rarely go to a game anymore because it’s so freaking expensive that I would be required to sell my imaginary children into slavery to even get in the door. So, I’ll often find myself plopped in front of the TV watching my favorite team find new and unique ways to lose. Yes, I am a Detroit Lions fan. The one hour of football is delicately stretched to a 3 and a half hour experience with a seemingly endless of stream of urin… I mean commercials. I am allowing all of these companies to try to sell me their products. Do I get a cut? Nope. All I get is one hour of football. Imagine if they turned every episode of Survivor into a 4 hour experience complete with 3 hours of commercials. How do you think that would go over?

Now I know what some of you might say: “Well then don’t watch it anymore.” To you I say, BITE ME. You are so not getting my point it makes me wonder whether you would be better off reading something else. Seriously, I don’t want you anymore (Yes, I do). Go away (please don't). Okay, back to the issue. I know what my options are, what I want to know is why there are not any concessions made to help the fans. I would bet most families in this country could not afford to go to a game. Profits are great but how about a few thousand $15 seats in these 40,000 plus capacity stadiums? If I cared more I would organize a lockout of the NFL until this issue is resolved…. Oh wait, sorry gotta run NFL Live is on ESPN. Later.

Currently hating on: Cell phone companies. Too expensive, bad customer service.

Profound thoughts: Do you think S&%t My Dad Said was cancelled because conservatives finally realized what “S&%t” actually stood for?

Reading: Thr3e by Ted Dekker




Jamming to: "Tonight, Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae and "Monster" by Meg and Dia