Last weekend, Mrs. Orbson and I made our way to the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle to see the pre-Broadway run of Disney’s Aladdin. For those of you who are not theater snobs like us, this means that after performing in Seattle, the production will move straight to Broadway. It’s an awesome opportunity to see A-list stars, directors and crew without traveling to New York. We also get the bragging rights of seeing the performance before it becomes “big news”.
We made our way through the throngs of theater-goers and sat in our inexpensive, yet well-placed balcony seats. The stage curtain had been replaced by “magic carpets”, the band started playing and the mood was set. That’s when the stupid started ejaculating from the stage in bursts of community theater like mediocrity. Before the arrows start flying, yes there are many good community theaters out there. Unfortunately for us, Aladdin was to Broadway caliber as Sarah Palin is to intelligence. Severely lacking.
So what made Aladdin the opening act of Crapapalooza? Oh, where to begin. The rushed through dialogue? The underdeveloped characters? The lackluster score? Well yes, but the real mucus on this crusty scab of a musical was the staging and costuming. Now if you are at all familiar with Disney or have seen The Lion King musical you might think that a new Disney show would be larger than life with extravagant costume and sets. At the very least, you’d think that it would be as good as those 45-minute Disney World performances. You would be wrong on both fronts. There was barely any staging and the costumes looked like they were designed by a 3-year old using her My First Sewing Machine. The floor was completely bare with only the taped “marks” visible. Nothing screams Arabian like fluorescent purple duct tape.
There were three big scenes that should have been spectacular – when Aladdin meets the Genie, when Aladdin, pretending to be a prince, parades into town and Aladdin and Princess Jasmine’s magic carpet ride. At least with the Genie we got a little bit of smoke. Sure, I could have done it myself with a bucket of dry ice and a firecracker, but it did prove that somebody somewhere worked on this musical. Other than that, all we were given were a few dancers and a couple of baskets of fake fruit. Where are the elephants, the acrobats, where was the freakin Disney magic? The lack of anything resembling professional theater was appalling. Then, it got worse.
The magic carpet scene is supposed to be the romantic climax of the play. Well, if you consider a 10-foot-pole lifting the carpet off of the ground magical so be it. I don’t know about you but I find my romantic evenings severely distracted by having a pole shoved up my ass. Yes, I am sure some of you might find that enjoyable but remember – 10 feet, not 10 inches long. The best part was the beautiful starlit sky- stage hands dressed in black, were waving lights around. Seriously people, this is fine in high school but not for a Broadway musical.
Needless to say, Mrs. Orbson and I give this play two thumbs down. The cast was merely adequate and was not able to elevate this amateurish attempt at musical theater. Disney, you should be ashamed. I will point out that about half of the theater seemed to really enjoy the play. Of course half of the country votes Republican so…. In the end, I’d say rent the movie and forgo the play.
Orbson on Art – Check out one of my favorite artists, Pino Daeni. A perfect combination of colors, technique and feminine beauty. My favorites are “Everlasting Beauty” and “Angelica”. http://www.paragonfineart.com/artists/pino.html
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Showing posts with label pino daeni. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pino daeni. Show all posts
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Meeting Orbson Rice
Welcome! This is the first of what I hope to be many blogs spreading the wit and wisdom of yours truly, Orbson Rice. In the coming years, I have fond hopes to entertain, energize and piss off legions of readers with my many insights. Since I plan to take you on an exhilarating and wild trip, the least I can do is provide a roadmap. So here comes the hopefully non-boring Q/A portion of this blog:
Who is this great and powerful Orbson Rice?
If you are looking for my resume here is the short version. English BA, JD (Law), licensed but non-practicing attorney. Before you switch back to the porn website, you should know that I hated being a lawyer. It sucked massive llama balls. I wanted to help people who couldn’t help themselves and quickly found myself working 60 hours a week for evil corporations and idiotic people. I should have stuck with English. Now, I am a published writer, ghostwriter, editor and all around God of Words.
Why should I care what Orbson thinks?
You shouldn’t. You should care about what you think. You should use my words to start up conversations and to discover for yourself what you actually believe. Also, I rock. You will undoubtedly have many a life changing epiphany while reading one of my blogs. If you want to pass on that opportunity, don’t worry, I am like the Catholic Church, I don’t care what you do, you can always come back to me.
What is the Wonderful Wizard of Orbson going to be writing about?
I will talk about anything and everything that happens to be on my mind. I have been finding myself with a few too many opinions lately and desperately need to share these opinions with someone before my head explodes. Saying that, I think it may be time for a warning. When you wake up in the morning and anxiously reach for your morning cup of Orbson, you will enter a mind with a myriad of interests. One day I might talk about a political topic, another I might discuss what everyone wore to the Oscars. I am interested in a LOT of things. So don’t be shocked when on some random day I might choose to write about the mating rituals of Birds of Paradise. Hopefully, you’ll still find it interesting and fun.
I am an ultra right wing religious teabagger who is very concerned about the content my children might see on the Internet. Is your blog family friendly?
Sorry, I think you want Fox News. They use shorter words. For the rest of my liberal open-minded friends, I want this blog to be an expression of myself without any walls. I hate when people swear every other word but sometimes I find a good “Fuck” to be very pleasing. Oh yeah, their will be some sexual innuendo thrown in. I don’t expect my dark side to do anything other than color what will surely be magnificent prose. If there any teabaggers still reading, don’t worry, prose is just another word for writing. I could explain innuendo but I am afraid your head might explode.
I am convinced that Orbson Rice will create a great blog but I would still like to know more about him as a person. How about some stream of consciousness?
Okay, but I warn you, enter this brain at your own risk: Beauty, beauty, beauty, hiking, waterfalls, sports, theater, theater, theater, Broadway, politics, environment, science, statistics, Tennessee Williams, Joss Whedon, Ernest Hemingway, Jean Genet’s “The Balcony” books, books, books, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Dean Koontz, , this new rap/ballad thing going on, Def Poetry, liberals, sex, sex, sex, love songs, romance, football, Xbox 360, saving money on stuff, Les Miserables, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Memento, Emo music, something more but nothing with an organized religion, oral sex, reality arts shows like the Hollywood makeup one or the next great artist. Bravo network, USA network, cry during movies, happy to watch Titanic or Rambo, traveling, writing, writing, writing, coming up with hundred of ideas for books, movies and musicals, Halo, Fallout, Madden, Fallout Boy, Good Charlotte, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, RENT, questioning authority, questioning everything, sometimes think this country sucks, sometimes loves it, want to live overseas, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, love the water, would love to teach at a college, wrote a script for How I Met Your Mother that was never sold but I love, huge Big Bang Theory fan, thinks comic book nerds are awesome, can watch pretty much any sporting event other than auto racing and really get into it, happiest in Tucson, Arizona, think most people are significantly more stupid than I am, a bit arrogant but also caring and thoughtful, anything that makes me think, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, art, art, art, Pino Daeni, beautiful women, intelligent women, intelligent women, intelligent women, music, investing, wildlife, nightlife, carpe noctem,
I could probably go on for hours but I’d rather let you discover some for yourselves. If, dear reader, you have lasted this far with me, we just might have a beautiful relationship ahead of us.
Who is this great and powerful Orbson Rice?
If you are looking for my resume here is the short version. English BA, JD (Law), licensed but non-practicing attorney. Before you switch back to the porn website, you should know that I hated being a lawyer. It sucked massive llama balls. I wanted to help people who couldn’t help themselves and quickly found myself working 60 hours a week for evil corporations and idiotic people. I should have stuck with English. Now, I am a published writer, ghostwriter, editor and all around God of Words.
Why should I care what Orbson thinks?
You shouldn’t. You should care about what you think. You should use my words to start up conversations and to discover for yourself what you actually believe. Also, I rock. You will undoubtedly have many a life changing epiphany while reading one of my blogs. If you want to pass on that opportunity, don’t worry, I am like the Catholic Church, I don’t care what you do, you can always come back to me.
What is the Wonderful Wizard of Orbson going to be writing about?
I will talk about anything and everything that happens to be on my mind. I have been finding myself with a few too many opinions lately and desperately need to share these opinions with someone before my head explodes. Saying that, I think it may be time for a warning. When you wake up in the morning and anxiously reach for your morning cup of Orbson, you will enter a mind with a myriad of interests. One day I might talk about a political topic, another I might discuss what everyone wore to the Oscars. I am interested in a LOT of things. So don’t be shocked when on some random day I might choose to write about the mating rituals of Birds of Paradise. Hopefully, you’ll still find it interesting and fun.
I am an ultra right wing religious teabagger who is very concerned about the content my children might see on the Internet. Is your blog family friendly?
Sorry, I think you want Fox News. They use shorter words. For the rest of my liberal open-minded friends, I want this blog to be an expression of myself without any walls. I hate when people swear every other word but sometimes I find a good “Fuck” to be very pleasing. Oh yeah, their will be some sexual innuendo thrown in. I don’t expect my dark side to do anything other than color what will surely be magnificent prose. If there any teabaggers still reading, don’t worry, prose is just another word for writing. I could explain innuendo but I am afraid your head might explode.
I am convinced that Orbson Rice will create a great blog but I would still like to know more about him as a person. How about some stream of consciousness?
Okay, but I warn you, enter this brain at your own risk: Beauty, beauty, beauty, hiking, waterfalls, sports, theater, theater, theater, Broadway, politics, environment, science, statistics, Tennessee Williams, Joss Whedon, Ernest Hemingway, Jean Genet’s “The Balcony” books, books, books, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Dean Koontz, , this new rap/ballad thing going on, Def Poetry, liberals, sex, sex, sex, love songs, romance, football, Xbox 360, saving money on stuff, Les Miserables, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Memento, Emo music, something more but nothing with an organized religion, oral sex, reality arts shows like the Hollywood makeup one or the next great artist. Bravo network, USA network, cry during movies, happy to watch Titanic or Rambo, traveling, writing, writing, writing, coming up with hundred of ideas for books, movies and musicals, Halo, Fallout, Madden, Fallout Boy, Good Charlotte, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, RENT, questioning authority, questioning everything, sometimes think this country sucks, sometimes loves it, want to live overseas, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, love the water, would love to teach at a college, wrote a script for How I Met Your Mother that was never sold but I love, huge Big Bang Theory fan, thinks comic book nerds are awesome, can watch pretty much any sporting event other than auto racing and really get into it, happiest in Tucson, Arizona, think most people are significantly more stupid than I am, a bit arrogant but also caring and thoughtful, anything that makes me think, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, art, art, art, Pino Daeni, beautiful women, intelligent women, intelligent women, intelligent women, music, investing, wildlife, nightlife, carpe noctem,
I could probably go on for hours but I’d rather let you discover some for yourselves. If, dear reader, you have lasted this far with me, we just might have a beautiful relationship ahead of us.
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