Welcome to the somewhat unbalanced mind of Orbson Rice.
Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Did Pac-Man Cause America’s Obesity Epidemic?


Howdy Orbsonites! In order to be politically correct I will simply hope that you all had a wonderful... Tuesday. Unless of course you follow a different calendar system in which case I apologize for offending you. As you may have noticed I have been abnormally quiet this month. Between working on my next book, holiday shopping and sobbing uncontrollably every time I turn on the news, I have been surprisingly busy. I have a lot planned for 2013 and if I can accomplish 10% of it, by this time next year I'll be touring with my new book, hosting my own late night TV show and have a line of edible thongs named after me. As for now, I thought it was important to use my gifts to shed light on one of the little yellow evils in the world: Pac-Man.

Did Pac-Man Cause America's Obesity Epidemic?

Is Pac-Man responsible for this country’s obesity problem? According to U.S. Representative John Marston (AZ), the answer is a resounding yes. The psychological effect of video games has been discussed frequently over the past weeks as many people wonder whether the games have become too violent. For Marston though, the problems caused by video games go even deeper. In a statement made on the House floor last week, Marston suggested that any discussion of the evils of video games must include the “yellow devil himself” Pac-Man.

“The original Pac-Man arcade game was released in 1980 when the obesity rate was 15%. Since then, it has more than doubled in adults and tripled in adolescents. Pac-Man is a game in which the player is rewarded by constantly eating pellets, if they stop even for a second they will be attacked by monsters. Clearly, this repetitive activity has trained our children to consume enormous amounts of food. Then in 1982, the game manufacturers targeted girls by creating Ms. Pac-Man. That’s right, not Mrs. Pac-Man but Ms. Pac-Man. Not only must she eat constantly to survive, but her reward was to marry Pac-Man and have a little Pac Baby. This clearly teaches women that over-consumption will lead to happiness. That’s probably why my wife needs a new pair of shoes every other day.” 

According to two studies published in the journal Criminal Justice and Behavior, “playing violent video games does not constitute a significant risk for future violent criminal acts.” Further, a Washington Post report found “no link between video games and gun murders.” Still, psychologists have never fully explored the correlation between obesity and playing Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man. If there is a connection, this leaves open the possibility of other potential negative consequences to game play. For example, last month a New Jersey man was found continuously jumping in front of the ape exhibit at the local zoo. When questioned he just kept repeating, “It’s going to throw another barrel, you can’t trust it!” In 2012, mental health professionals have treated over 200 patients who believed that centipedes were dropping down on them. However,  the most disturbing example came in 2008 on Wall Street where corrupt bankers attempted to simply “restart their games” when their questionable business practices drove the U.S. into a deep recession. They were allowed to “restart” without any penalties or jail time. In gamer lingo, the Wall Street tycoons simply modded the system to give themselves unlimited lives, money and power-ups.  Unfortunately for the average citizen, Grand Theft America 4 is due out early next year.

While there may not be a definitive answer to the effects of Pac-Man on the obesity problem in the U.S., Marston does provide persuasive arguments on the effects of video games on our psyche. So next time you see feel compelled to throw a bird at a pig, remember don’t let a video game control your actions and your fears. That’s what the news networks are for.





burgers image link  

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Meeting Orbson Rice

Welcome! This is the first of what I hope to be many blogs spreading the wit and wisdom of yours truly, Orbson Rice. In the coming years, I have fond hopes to entertain, energize and piss off legions of readers with my many insights. Since I plan to take you on an exhilarating and wild trip, the least I can do is provide a roadmap. So here comes the hopefully non-boring Q/A portion of this blog:

Who is this great and powerful Orbson Rice?

If you are looking for my resume here is the short version. English BA, JD (Law), licensed but non-practicing attorney. Before you switch back to the porn website, you should know that I hated being a lawyer. It sucked massive llama balls. I wanted to help people who couldn’t help themselves and quickly found myself working 60 hours a week for evil corporations and idiotic people. I should have stuck with English. Now, I am a published writer, ghostwriter, editor and all around God of Words.

Why should I care what Orbson thinks?

You shouldn’t. You should care about what you think. You should use my words to start up conversations and to discover for yourself what you actually believe. Also, I rock. You will undoubtedly have many a life changing epiphany while reading one of my blogs. If you want to pass on that opportunity, don’t worry, I am like the Catholic Church, I don’t care what you do, you can always come back to me.

What is the Wonderful Wizard of Orbson going to be writing about?

I will talk about anything and everything that happens to be on my mind. I have been finding myself with a few too many opinions lately and desperately need to share these opinions with someone before my head explodes. Saying that, I think it may be time for a warning. When you wake up in the morning and anxiously reach for your morning cup of Orbson, you will enter a mind with a myriad of interests. One day I might talk about a political topic, another I might discuss what everyone wore to the Oscars. I am interested in a LOT of things. So don’t be shocked when on some random day I might choose to write about the mating rituals of Birds of Paradise. Hopefully, you’ll still find it interesting and fun.

I am an ultra right wing religious teabagger who is very concerned about the content my children might see on the Internet. Is your blog family friendly?

Sorry, I think you want Fox News. They use shorter words. For the rest of my liberal open-minded friends, I want this blog to be an expression of myself without any walls. I hate when people swear every other word but sometimes I find a good “Fuck” to be very pleasing. Oh yeah, their will be some sexual innuendo thrown in. I don’t expect my dark side to do anything other than color what will surely be magnificent prose. If there any teabaggers still reading, don’t worry, prose is just another word for writing. I could explain innuendo but I am afraid your head might explode.

I am convinced that Orbson Rice will create a great blog but I would still like to know more about him as a person. How about some stream of consciousness?

Okay, but I warn you, enter this brain at your own risk: Beauty, beauty, beauty, hiking, waterfalls, sports, theater, theater, theater, Broadway, politics, environment, science, statistics, Tennessee Williams, Joss Whedon, Ernest Hemingway, Jean Genet’s “The Balcony” books, books, books, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Dean Koontz, , this new rap/ballad thing going on, Def Poetry, liberals, sex, sex, sex, love songs, romance, football, Xbox 360, saving money on stuff, Les Miserables, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Memento, Emo music, something more but nothing with an organized religion, oral sex, reality arts shows like the Hollywood makeup one or the next great artist. Bravo network, USA network, cry during movies, happy to watch Titanic or Rambo, traveling, writing, writing, writing, coming up with hundred of ideas for books, movies and musicals, Halo, Fallout, Madden, Fallout Boy, Good Charlotte, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, RENT, questioning authority, questioning everything, sometimes think this country sucks, sometimes loves it, want to live overseas, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, love the water, would love to teach at a college, wrote a script for How I Met Your Mother that was never sold but I love, huge Big Bang Theory fan, thinks comic book nerds are awesome, can watch pretty much any sporting event other than auto racing and really get into it, happiest in Tucson, Arizona, think most people are significantly more stupid than I am, a bit arrogant but also caring and thoughtful, anything that makes me think, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, art, art, art, Pino Daeni, beautiful women, intelligent women, intelligent women, intelligent women, music, investing, wildlife, nightlife, carpe noctem,

I could probably go on for hours but I’d rather let you discover some for yourselves. If, dear reader, you have lasted this far with me, we just might have a beautiful relationship ahead of us.