Why is it that I cannot turn on the national news without seeing some SUV driving, conservative douche bag demanding an end to new taxes? Help me out here; I am really trying to understand. I can see the argument that the federal government is wasting our tax dollars on stupid programs such as corn subsidies or those pesky pennies. I can even understand an argument that the middle and lower classes are already paying more than they can afford. What I cannot understand is why anyone making under $250,000 per year would be opposed to raising taxes on corporations and the super-wealthy. The Democrats are not even asking for much. All they ask is that corporations pay the same tax percentage as they did back in the 90’s. That’s twenty years ago! Now I have not seen the latest census numbers but I am guessing that 45% of this country does not make over $250,000. Seriously, do these people even understand who they are fighting for?
Orbsonites, let me lay down a little knowledge that most of you already know. There is a great myth perpetrated by the wealthy corporations and bought into by Republicans. This myth says that the wealthier a corporation is the more jobs they will create for the average person. This conservative fantasy is called “Trickle Down Economics” and has been used to keep the sheep bending over for decades. As fantasies go, this one ranks right up there with a pygmy goat, a bucket of lube and copy of “Busty Ballet Dancers”. Completely illogical!* A corporation is responsible to its shareholders to make them as much profit as possible. If you are willing to pay $4 a gallon for gas, then they will charge $4. They have no obligation to do anything else. One of the many methods that corporations have implemented to maximize profits is to hire a majority of their labor force overseas. Great for profits, not so good for the average American family. As an economic theory, Trickle Down Economics is failing miserably. Profits are at an all time high while unemployment soars.
Of course the Great and Powerful Orbson would not dare rant without offering some common-sense suggestions. I won’t get into the tax code as I have written on that before. Today, I’ll stick to controlling the corporate monster. Many Republicans want you to believe that everything from Social Security to public education should be corporate-run. I don’t know about you, but I think some programs should never be run for profit. The Teabaggers argue vehemently against big government. However, I think that the government should serve and protect its citizens. This means creating hard-line banking regulations, not taking donations from corporations whose fate you will be deciding, and not giving tax breaks to companies who are not giving back full value. If a corporation has their call centers in India, they should pay more taxes here. Simple, right? Corporations are like teenagers. If you let them choose, they’ll always take the sports car. We need to step up and say “look we love you, but you’re taking the Ford Focus and if you break it, you’re grounded”.
*While this particular fantasy is illogical to me, I in no way condemn anyone who engages in said fantasy so long as the pygmy goat is a consensual participant. Also, should you actually find a publication called Busty Ballet Dancers you can email me at orbsonrice@gmail.com.
Yo Asshole Said Whhaaaaaat??? House Speaker John Boehner told Republicans to “Get your ass in line” after many expressed concern over his latest debt ceiling proposal. Finally, the truth comes out. Follow Republican leadership and get FUCKED!
Orbson At the Movies: I will NOT be seeing Transformers 3 because my favorite robot, Megan Fox, isn’t in it. Anyway, after T2 I don’t think I can take another bout of “who's fighting who”. Seriously, it was like watching CSPAN – a bunch of mindless drones yakking nonsense at each other. Though it was fun watching Michelle Bachmann transform into a hot air balloon.
Note to my Disciples: Yes, another political blog. However, as my page views jumped 300% the last two days, I am thinking people like them. For those of you looking for some brilliant laid back Orbson commentary, don't fret, I am working on some new material that will surely be gut-busting.
Currently Jamming:
Showing posts with label raising taxes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raising taxes. Show all posts
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Debt Ceilings, Pennies and Stupid People
I started writing a blog dealing with the debt ceiling debate before I realized nobody probably cares. Sorry, it is on my mind, thus it is the topic of the day. Now, I could probably sum up my views in a brief 15 page position paper. Rather than bore you with endless financial ramblings, I’ll try to break down my thoughts in a more concise way. Congress, this is a non issue! Raise the damn thing like you are planning to do anyway and stop the political grandstanding. Yes, it sucks to have to borrow even more money and sink even further into debt. Now you know what it’s like for millions of American families every day. The facts are simple. There are bills that must be paid and an arbitrary debt ceiling that’s more illusion than reality. So get off your corrupt asses and just raise the damn thing. Or better yet, trash it all together. Then, keep standing up and start making the hard decisions to get this country fiscally responsible again.
As you probably guessed, I am expecting a call from my buddy Barrack any day now. The reason? Nobody knows common sense better than Orbson Rice. A lot of American zombies/citizens hear the word economy and their eyes roll back into their heads and they race off toward the nearest TV set to watch Jersey Shore. Look people, it is not that complicated. When something doesn’t work, fix it or get rid of it. What would Orbson recommend? Here are a few starting points:
First, stop making pennies! They cost more to produce then they are worth. Yes, I know it will be hard to live without those wondrous coins. How often do I come home after a long day only to find my bliss by rolling around naked on a bed of pennies. Oh I will miss you little coin but I am sorry, you’re pointless! No, this will not make a huge impact on the deficit but it just gets my panties in a bunch that this obvious money sucker continues to live on.
Secondly, close all of the extraneous post offices and shave a day or two off of deliveries. Oh shit, what about my Netflix? What am I going to do without my DVDs everyday? Read? Workout? Communicate with others? The horror… the horror…. The facts here are simple. Americans are using the post office significantly less than they were 10 years ago. Still, they've only raised postage by 10 cents and have kept far to many post offices open. Less money coming in + higher expenses = bankrupt. In 2010, the U.S. Post Office was more than $8 billion in the hole. Also, please raise the cost of a first class stamp to an even $1. See, it even helps gets rid of those damn pennies! Why do we get so annoyed when stamps raise a few cents? Think about it. We spend $5 at Hallmark for a folded piece of paper but don’t want to spend a single dollar to pay for someone to travel thousands of miles away to hand deliver it to our love ones? Now isn’t that just plain silly.
“We the people” want all of these great services like uhm the Post Office, public education, Social Security, Medicare and universal health care. Great! We should have them, we need them, but we also need to pay for them. I realize that half of this country lives in La La Land where the biggest problems are those damned homosexuals trying to get married and that black muslim president who was born in some Middle Eastern cave. But the rest of us, you know, those of us who are not crazy religious nutjobs, actually want to solve real problems with real solutions. Our government should provide the basic services needed for us to pursue “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. The citizens should pay the required taxes to afford those programs. All of the citizens, including big business and the ultra rich. Did you know that the richest 400 people in this country earned something like 10 times as much this past year as they did 10 years ago? How much do they pay in taxes? More than 10 percentage points less. They hire lobbyists, pundits and a “news” network to create fear using nonsensical issues to keep the sheep scared while they take turns anal raping the middle class. Enough is enough, it’s time to turn around and let us pitch for a while.
So Congress, listen to the wisdom that is Orbson. If I have financial questions I speak to my broker or a financial manager not a politician. Call in the economists, give them the budget, the tax code and some beer and let them figure this out. By the way, this is not purely a Democrat v Republican issue, though of course I have no problem trashing Republicans. This is a Congress issue, which means this is a people issue. We need to pay more attention or the next thing we know a former beauty queen who knows foreign policy because she can see Russia from her front porch will be running for Vice President. Oh shit….
Relevant Songs - "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars and "Price Tag" by Jessie J
Good website for bargain hunters – http://slickdeals.net/
My Broker – https://www.fidelity.com/
As you probably guessed, I am expecting a call from my buddy Barrack any day now. The reason? Nobody knows common sense better than Orbson Rice. A lot of American zombies/citizens hear the word economy and their eyes roll back into their heads and they race off toward the nearest TV set to watch Jersey Shore. Look people, it is not that complicated. When something doesn’t work, fix it or get rid of it. What would Orbson recommend? Here are a few starting points:
First, stop making pennies! They cost more to produce then they are worth. Yes, I know it will be hard to live without those wondrous coins. How often do I come home after a long day only to find my bliss by rolling around naked on a bed of pennies. Oh I will miss you little coin but I am sorry, you’re pointless! No, this will not make a huge impact on the deficit but it just gets my panties in a bunch that this obvious money sucker continues to live on.
Secondly, close all of the extraneous post offices and shave a day or two off of deliveries. Oh shit, what about my Netflix? What am I going to do without my DVDs everyday? Read? Workout? Communicate with others? The horror… the horror…. The facts here are simple. Americans are using the post office significantly less than they were 10 years ago. Still, they've only raised postage by 10 cents and have kept far to many post offices open. Less money coming in + higher expenses = bankrupt. In 2010, the U.S. Post Office was more than $8 billion in the hole. Also, please raise the cost of a first class stamp to an even $1. See, it even helps gets rid of those damn pennies! Why do we get so annoyed when stamps raise a few cents? Think about it. We spend $5 at Hallmark for a folded piece of paper but don’t want to spend a single dollar to pay for someone to travel thousands of miles away to hand deliver it to our love ones? Now isn’t that just plain silly.
“We the people” want all of these great services like uhm the Post Office, public education, Social Security, Medicare and universal health care. Great! We should have them, we need them, but we also need to pay for them. I realize that half of this country lives in La La Land where the biggest problems are those damned homosexuals trying to get married and that black muslim president who was born in some Middle Eastern cave. But the rest of us, you know, those of us who are not crazy religious nutjobs, actually want to solve real problems with real solutions. Our government should provide the basic services needed for us to pursue “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. The citizens should pay the required taxes to afford those programs. All of the citizens, including big business and the ultra rich. Did you know that the richest 400 people in this country earned something like 10 times as much this past year as they did 10 years ago? How much do they pay in taxes? More than 10 percentage points less. They hire lobbyists, pundits and a “news” network to create fear using nonsensical issues to keep the sheep scared while they take turns anal raping the middle class. Enough is enough, it’s time to turn around and let us pitch for a while.
So Congress, listen to the wisdom that is Orbson. If I have financial questions I speak to my broker or a financial manager not a politician. Call in the economists, give them the budget, the tax code and some beer and let them figure this out. By the way, this is not purely a Democrat v Republican issue, though of course I have no problem trashing Republicans. This is a Congress issue, which means this is a people issue. We need to pay more attention or the next thing we know a former beauty queen who knows foreign policy because she can see Russia from her front porch will be running for Vice President. Oh shit….
Relevant Songs - "Billionaire" - Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars and "Price Tag" by Jessie J
Good website for bargain hunters – http://slickdeals.net/
My Broker – https://www.fidelity.com/
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