The Orbson Oracle reached out to the congregation at the Church of God but Only My God Not Yours in Sumiton, Alabama for their views on the controversial statement. “Jesus didn’t like no rapists and murderers and neither does Trump. Jesus, he built walls to keep out all sorts of dirty people. You know, if Jesus were alive today he would vote for Trump and he’d probably make him pope too!” said, Cletus Bodean. His sister/wife Eustice agreed, “We gotta build those walls to keep those Mexicans from raping our cows and stealing our Meth… uh… money.”
Of course not everyone agreed with this ‘thinking’. In an Oracle exclusive we spoke to the man himself, Jesus Christ. We caught up with Jesus in a homeless shelter in Portland, Oregon where he was helping the workers serve food. When we asked about the recent exchange between Trump and the pope he simply shook his head and said, “When people are hungry they should be fed. When they are sick they should be given medicine. When they are cold they should be given a roof over their heads, clothes on their back and warmth in their hearts from knowing that they are loved. This is truth and truth knows not of color or race, gender or orientation.” When asked who he would be supporting this election season he replied, “That is not for me to say.” While Jesus was not willing to officially endorse any candidate we did find it interesting that under a worn denim jacket he wore a t-shirt with an artistic rendering of a wild silver-haired man underneath the words “Feel the Bern”.
Want the t-shirt that Jesus was wearing?
The unique “Feel the Bern” t-shirt was created by Numberism Portland based artist Sienna Morris. The image of Bernie Sanders was created using intricately placed numbers and letters representing many of Sanders goals for our country. 90% of the profits from sales of the shirts are donated to the Sanders campaign and they are currently on sale HERE.
Pre-Mashup Photos by: Sergey Gabdurakhmanov and Boss Tweed
