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Sunday, March 9, 2014

President Obama Forgets How to Spell ‘Respect’ After Five Long Years of Never Being Given Any

Sadly, President Obama just can’t get any ‘rspect’. After a particularly yummy Taco Tuesday, Thursday the White House decided to host the Women of Soul. Attended by a myriad of outstanding female musicians including Aretha Franklin, Melissa Etheridge, Patti Labelle and others, the event was held to honor the musical contributions of this country’s female artists. Also in attendance was President Obama who addressed the gathering:

"When Aretha first told us what R-S-P-E-C-T meant to her, she had no idea it would become a rallying cry for African Americans, and women, and then everyone who felt marginalized because of what they looked like or who they loved"

The President’s spelling faux pas received chuckles from the audience while reports of the mistake quickly hit the news sites. The networks covered it as thoroughly as the Ukraine crisis though not nearly as in depth as anything Justin Bieber is currently doing. Fox News took digs at the President comparing him to former Vice President Dan Quale and the infamous potato/potatoe gaffe. Even Sarah Palin joined in the mocking of the President saying, “Even I know it is spelled ‘r-s-p-a-c-t’.”

According to Dr. Felix Baumgardner from the Heidelberg Institute of Presidential Psychology, President Obama is likely not to blame for the error: “There is substantial evidence demonstrating that powerful words such as ‘respect’ can be slowly erased from a person’s mind when they do not experience it in their lives. Essentially, they will stop recognizing it as a word.”

Dr. Baumgardner may be right. Since assuming office in January of 2009, President Obama has been shown an infinitesimal amount of respect. He can’t even address the nation without a member of Congress yelling “you lie”. In fact, many Republicans have proclaimed that no matter what policy President Obama puts forth, no matter how good it would be for the country, they would never support it. Clearly, the Rodney Dangerfield of U.S. Presidents had a good reason to forget the ‘e’. Just as Republicans have forgotten that we live in the ‘United’ States of America.