Welcome to the somewhat unbalanced mind of Orbson Rice.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Alternative Democracy

Once upon a time, a woman named Hillary became President of a great nation. Hillary did not win the popular vote but she did win the Electoral College which awarded her the office. Her party, known as the Democrats, also won many seats in the House of Representatives and the Senate though most of those races were also very close. There was ample evidence that the rogue liberal nation of Canada interfered in the election in order to get Hillary elected, however the Democrats in Congress didn’t want to look too closely at that can of worms, so they didn’t.

During Hillary’s first weeks in office she issued many executive orders. She removed mentions of “God” from all national currency, The Pledge of Allegiance and all entities that receive federal funding. She put a freeze on all firearm sales so as to determine a better vetting process for those seeking to buy guns. She forced churches to start paying federal income tax. She tripled funding for the NEA, EPA, NASA and other arts, science and social justice programs. She raised taxes to a flat 70% on those making over $250,000. She allowed access and a path to citizenship for 50,000 refugees. She substantially increased protections for minorities, LGBTQ and immigrants. She ordered complete transparency for all businesses and fined companies who did not immediately remedy unequal salaries between men and women. She quadrupled funding for Planned Parenthood and required that every city over 15,000 people would have a PP facility or be denied federal funding. She put an immediate halt to all fracking operations. She increased funding to public schools. She banned the death penalty. She created a rehabilitation program for non-violent criminal offenders which would include job training and education and would expunge their record after completion. She toughened environmental standards beyond levels ever seen before. She ordered Congressional Democrats to completely redraw districts to ensure that Republicans will have a much more difficult time winning in the future. She gave voting rights to everyone on the path to citizenship and made Election Day a national holiday. She lowered the voting age to 16. She ordered a universal health care plan for everyone that mirrored the insurance received by members of Congress. She made it illegal for corporations and lobbyists to use money to purchase votes.  She outlawed the consumption of meat or the use of animals in the making or wearing of clothing. She outlawed genetically modified food and many of the harmful preservatives and chemicals used in prepackaged food. She expanded SNAP to help provide food for everyone making under $30,000 a year. She ordered the construction of mini-homes to help the homeless and put caps on property values to ensure that homes would be available to everyone.

Hillary ordered all of these things even though half of the country was opposed to many of these actions. The conservatives were really upset and many thought that the Democrats were not governing for all of the people, but only the far left liberals. In the end however, they decided that since Hillary and the other Democrats had won the election they should just keep quiet and give her a chance.

The End

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