Disclaimer for the Stupid

For those of you who either knowingly or unknowingly find themselves intelligence impaired, this disclaimer is meant to ease your troubled mind. This is my blog, this is not CNN, BBC or NPR. The Grand Canyon is not going to be filled in with cement. I do not have regular conversations with Jesus and Buddha. I do not out-scoop every major news outlet in the World when politicians say something idiotic. There are elements of truth in everything I write. Underlying messages about the nature of the world and the people who reside upon her. If you really believe that Michele Bachmann has a secret army or Robot Pinatas than you probably will never understand those underlying messages. Go read a book. No, not just that one, read something with actual facts. For the rest of you, as well as all of you overpaid attorneys, consider this blog to be satiric. The Orbson Oracle is meant to be a creative outlet for my brain as it relates to the events around me, not pure unfiltered fact. There. Pointless disclaimer written. If you still question whether all of my stories are true that I have one last thing to tell you: The tin foil hat men are making me write this, it's all true! Find shelter! The Pinatas are coming!!!