Welcome to the somewhat unbalanced mind of Orbson Rice.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Alternative Democracy

Once upon a time, a woman named Hillary became President of a great nation. Hillary did not win the popular vote but she did win the Electoral College which awarded her the office. Her party, known as the Democrats, also won many seats in the House of Representatives and the Senate though most of those races were also very close. There was ample evidence that the rogue liberal nation of Canada interfered in the election in order to get Hillary elected, however the Democrats in Congress didn’t want to look too closely at that can of worms, so they didn’t.

During Hillary’s first weeks in office she issued many executive orders. She removed mentions of “God” from all national currency, The Pledge of Allegiance and all entities that receive federal funding. She put a freeze on all firearm sales so as to determine a better vetting process for those seeking to buy guns. She forced churches to start paying federal income tax. She tripled funding for the NEA, EPA, NASA and other arts, science and social justice programs. She raised taxes to a flat 70% on those making over $250,000. She allowed access and a path to citizenship for 50,000 refugees. She substantially increased protections for minorities, LGBTQ and immigrants. She ordered complete transparency for all businesses and fined companies who did not immediately remedy unequal salaries between men and women. She quadrupled funding for Planned Parenthood and required that every city over 15,000 people would have a PP facility or be denied federal funding. She put an immediate halt to all fracking operations. She increased funding to public schools. She banned the death penalty. She created a rehabilitation program for non-violent criminal offenders which would include job training and education and would expunge their record after completion. She toughened environmental standards beyond levels ever seen before. She ordered Congressional Democrats to completely redraw districts to ensure that Republicans will have a much more difficult time winning in the future. She gave voting rights to everyone on the path to citizenship and made Election Day a national holiday. She lowered the voting age to 16. She ordered a universal health care plan for everyone that mirrored the insurance received by members of Congress. She made it illegal for corporations and lobbyists to use money to purchase votes.  She outlawed the consumption of meat or the use of animals in the making or wearing of clothing. She outlawed genetically modified food and many of the harmful preservatives and chemicals used in prepackaged food. She expanded SNAP to help provide food for everyone making under $30,000 a year. She ordered the construction of mini-homes to help the homeless and put caps on property values to ensure that homes would be available to everyone.

Hillary ordered all of these things even though half of the country was opposed to many of these actions. The conservatives were really upset and many thought that the Democrats were not governing for all of the people, but only the far left liberals. In the end however, they decided that since Hillary and the other Democrats had won the election they should just keep quiet and give her a chance.

The End

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

DeVos Bans “Teaching” in Classrooms

Newly appointed Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is taking a bold approach to educating the young people of the United States- a ban on teaching. On Tuesday afternoon just hours after her nomination was confirmed, DeVos and Trump announced a new executive order which prohibits the use of “teaching” in public schools. According to DeVos, the term “teaching” is an “elitist liberal term that only allows for the education of children via facts and does not take into account alternative forms of education”. The new term, which will take affect starting March 1, will be “enlightening.” During the press conference DeVos stated, “Learning needs be better. This less confusing for students. Enlightening good. Jesus good. Trump good. Goodbye.” The Department of Education released a sample of the new guidelines for the Science curriculum:


Former Lesson: Gravity is a force of attraction that exists between any two masses, any two bodies or any two particles.

Alternative Enlightened Theory: Gravity is God’s way on ensuring that we do not fly off into space. Should we displease God, gravity would be removed and we would simply float away. It is our belief in God that keeps us grounded.


Former Lesson: Dinosaurs are animals that lived approximately 230 million years ago and survived until an extinction event occurred 66 million years ago. Evidence suggests that birds may be descended from dinosaurs.

Alternative Enlightened Theory: When God cast Adam and Eve from the garden, he placed upon the Earth many challenges. Dinosaur bones were one of those challenges. Dinosaurs themselves did not exist; the bones were purposely placed there by God to test the faith of those who found them. The Earth itself is only 6,021 years old.


Former Lesson: Rain is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then become heavy enough to fall under gravity.

Alternative Enlightened Lesson: Rain is God showering his essence over his people. Moderate rain is desirable and means God loves you. Heavy rain implies that God believes you are drowning in your sins. God condemns liberals, thus it rains often in areas such as Seattle and Portland. A desert climate means that God has given up on the people.

The new “enlightenment” guidelines have been celebrated as a “revolutionary step toward a superior education.” Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam, stated “We do a disservice to our children when we do not take a fair and balanced approach to their education. This order will protect children from the radical ideas of the left while enlightening them with honest and moral educational principles.” Time will only tell whether the DeVos approach will succeed, but Trump seems optimistic, “We be finally getting good learning here.” In related news, hospitals all over the country are filling up quickly with teachers reporting concussion-like symptoms due to hitting their heads repeatedly against walls.

Photograph by: Hans Hillewaert

Never Again

There are some things that should not need to be written. Not in the 21st century. Not for a world that 72-years ago said, “Never Again!” I awoke this morning to a study done by Amnesty International, an organization that exposes human rights violations. The study was not easy to read and I apologize if my words disturb you, but the truth must be heard.

Before I tell you about the study, let me first tell you about how the civil war in Syria began. The war started because of children. In 2011, 15 schoolchildren were arrested and tortured for writing anti-government graffiti on a wall. The citizens were outraged and formed peaceful protests asking for the release of the children, democracy and freedom for the people. On March 18, 2011, the military, under the control of Bashar al-Assad, opened fire on the protesters killing four people. The following day, the military arrived at the funeral of one of the fallen and shot and killed another person. That was the beginning of a civil war that continues to this day.

During the war, Assad has broken international law and used chemical weapons on civilians and rebels. The turmoil in Syria has allowed IS to step in and take over large areas of Syria, essentially creating a 3rd front that both Assad’s forces and the rebels need to fight. Assad’s unwillingness to abdicate his power and allow democracy to flourish has given IS more resources and more desperate people to bolster their ranks.  People who feel they have no other choice. However, the true horror of Bashar al-Assad was not fully known until today.

Between 2011 and 2015 in Saydnaya Prison an estimated 13,000 mostly civilians were executed in secret. A further 17,000 more are believed to have been executed in prisons throughout Syria. Every week, sometimes twice a week, guards would appear and call out the names of 50 people. They were told they were being transferred. Instead they are blindfolded and taken into a basement where they are severely beaten. Unable to see what is happening to them they are then led to another building. Before the final horror begins, the last thing they feel is a noose being tightened around their necks. “They kept them [hanging] there for 10 to 15 minutes. Some didn’t die because they are light. For the young ones, their weight wouldn’t kill them. The officers’ assistants would pull them down and break their necks,” said an eyewitness and former judge.

The conditions inside the prison are perhaps even worse. Assad has created “a world carefully designed to humiliate, degrade, sicken, starve and ultimately kill those trapped inside.” The prisoners are raped and are sometimes forced to rape other prisoners for the enjoyment of the guards. Torture is as normal to them as your morning coffee is to you. The floors of the prison are covered with blood and puss and food and water are often deprived. When they are fed it is often scattered onto that soiled floor. Each morning guards would dispose of bodies that didn’t make it through the night.

This is happening in our world. The world of Super Bowl parties and Dancing with the Stars.

One of Assad’s strongest supporters is Donald Trump’s favorite ally, Russian President Vladimir Putin. The reasons behind Russia’s support of Assad are complex and varied. In the most general of terms, Russia has significant economic and military interests in keeping Assad in power. While some of those interests fall in line with conventional wisdom (stopping IS), others do not, particularly against the backdrop of truly heinous crimes against humanity. As always, the Middle East is extremely volatile and decisions made by 3rd party countries can have detrimental effects that can last for decades. We need only look back at President George W. Bush’s horrendous mistake in Iraq that helped created ISIS in the first place. Solutions will not be easy and they will take a unified world to find.

There exists degrees of evil. I would hope that most agree that Assad is among the worst. However, my fear is that evil is spreading. Vladimir Putin, a former KGB agent has in the past decade, made criticizing his government a criminal offense. Add to that, government imposed censorship, the tacit approval of Assad’s methods, LGBT abuses and just this past week, Russia decriminalized domestic violence. This brings us to the United States.

In the past two weeks, admitted sexual predator Donald Trump has been attempting to tear down the very institutions of democracy and checks and balances within this country. When the judicial system has tried to slow him down to make sure his actions are constitutional, he has threatened them and placed targets on their back. When a media outlet dares to question him he demonizes and demeans them, calling them “fake news” yet never actually answers their concerns. He utters falsehoods with such frequency that even his staff has a difficult time managing truth from fiction. He uses regulatory power to control the wealthy and he uses fear and prejudice to control the minds of the weak and uneducated.

Over the course of this past year he has suggested the murder of an opposing candidate stating, “By the way, if she gets to pick, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don't know.” He has stated that he supports beating protesters saying, “Knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously. OK, just knock the hell -- I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees. I promise. I promise.” Even more disturbing is the following statement, “By the way, I hate some of these people, but I'd never kill them. I hate them. No, I think, no these people, honestly, I'll be honest, I'll be honest, I would never kill them. I would never do that. Let's see, uh, no I wouldn't.” He brought up killing people who oppose him and had to think about whether he would do it?! Trump may not be Assad yet but he is clearly only a couple degrees of evil removed. What is even more terrifying is how many people have bought into his propaganda even while he institutes policies that harm them.

Whenever we hear the words “Syrian refugees” we must remember the horrors of the world that they are escaping from and show compassion and acceptance. We are going through a time of immense turmoil and in many ways are going through our own cultural civil war. We cannot allow ourselves to become like Syria. We must not allow the branches of our government to be compromised by hate, fear and greed. We must not allow our own fears to keep us from reaching out a hand to a person in need. If we do not speak now, if we do not act now, then Bashar al-Assad, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump will become this generation’s Axis of Evil and we will be complicit.

You can read the study by Amnesty International as well as some learning materials on the crisis in Syria and Russia through the links below:




Picture by: edwin.11

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Trump Vows to Send Statue of Liberty Back to France

Speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast, Donald Trump surprised attendees by announcing plans to tear down the Statue of Liberty and send it back to France. “Look, we need security. We need to be the best at it. To protect our borders. Our symbol can no longer be a tall ugly woman telling terrorists they can just walk right in. That’s not right. No one wants to see that. It’s weak. Later today I will be signing an executive order to remove the Statute of Liberty and send it back to France in pieces. They want the refugees, they can have them all.”

The Statue of Liberty has stood as a beacon to those entering the United States since it was gifted by France in 1886. Between 1886-1924, 14-million immigrants entered New York and one of their first sights was the lady who welcomed them with open arms. The Statue of Liberty’s base holds a bronze plaque with the following poem by Emma Lazarus,

“Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Trump was quick to quell the disconcerted reaction of attendees, “Just don’t worry about it….We have to be tough, it’s time we’re going to be a little bit tough, folks. I am going to build a new Statue of Liberty. It’s going to be bigger. So big. So big they can see it in Iran. And I’m gonna have a new model. A gorgeous girl. I’m going to hold a pageant and the winner will be the new Statue. The new model, gorgeous. She’ll be standing in that spot smiling, and maybe she’ll have a gun. She’ll be telling them to keep out. Wonderful. Strong.”

French officials have not responded to interview requests but a spokesman for Prime Minister Bernard Cazeneuve confirmed that they have been in contact with the White House. A small group of protesters have already begun to gather around the National Monument and officials believe that the numbers will swell in the coming hours.

Orbson’s Call to Action: Have you ever noticed that whenever Trump speaks it sounds like somebody Frankensteined a Cheetos? For example, while talking about Black History Month he states, “You read all about Martin Luther King when somebody said I took a statue out of my office. And it turned out that that was fake news. The statue is cherished. It’s one of the favorite things—and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln, and we have Jefferson, and we have Dr. Martin Luther King.”
He appears to have the intellectual capacity of a 5-year old. A white supremacist, egomaniacal 5-year old, but still a 5-year old. I began to ponder why that might be and may have a theory. Perhaps at some point in his life he suffered a head injury, who knows, perhaps he was peed on a bit too hard. Regardless, he may now be suffering from the aftereffects. Now, I am not a doctor but if Saturday morning cartoons have taught me anything, another knock on the head could help him out quite a bit. So for this call to action I ask you to call you representatives, the media and anyone else in contact with President Pussygrabber and ask them, for Trump’s own well-being, to smack him as hard as they can. Go forth…

Photograph by Erik Daniel Drost

Friday, January 27, 2017

The Girl with the Beautiful Eyes

The little girl with the beautiful eyes. There is sorrow in that blue that few of us have ever known, this little girl with the beautiful eyes. Against the wall she leans, her gaze far off and the little colorful helicopter on her sweater covered in days’ worth of filth. The little girl with the beautiful eyes has seen too much. I wonder what her joyful days were like, this little girl with the beautiful eyes. I wonder whether there were birthdays with balloons and presents reflected in those beautiful eyes. I wonder if she watched as the bombs stole her parents away from her. Did she see it happen through the tears of those beautiful eyes? Did she see the other children, tens of thousands like her whose lives would be so different if they didn’t call Syria home? She will never be the same, this girl with the beautiful eyes. She’ll be broken even if she is able to find sanctuary, the memories haunting behind those beautiful eyes. Will she be able to find someone to help her, the girl with the beautiful eyes? Someone to love her and care for her and show those beautiful eyes a better world? A world where dreams can come true. A world with a home and people to love her and her beautiful eyes. I don’t know if she made it out, the girl with the beautiful eyes. 10,000 sets of beautiful young Syrian eyes are missing. I almost hope they are closed forever, for there are some things that beautiful eyes should never see. 50,000 sets of beautiful young eyes will never see light again. I do not know if hers are still open, the girl with the beautiful eyes. Did she find a place to rest her heart? Was she turned away, the girl with the beautiful eyes? I think I will call her Amena, the girl with the beautiful eyes. If she is forgotten, if she is lost, she at least deserves a name. She deserves to be remembered, the girl with the beautiful eyes.


We have been asked to build a wall around us both literally and figuratively. We have been asked to turn away from the innocent. To allow them to suffer and even die because they are not convenient to us, because they may make our lives a little more difficult. I reject this. I reject this with every ounce of morality in my soul. We are facing great difficulties in our nation: poverty, homelessness, environmental destruction, rampant political and corporate corruption, demagogue leaders who seek to divide us. But, regardless of our political views, we have to agree on this one thing. We must treat our fellow human beings with compassion and love. We live in a country that was built on letting people in. Our country’s greatest symbol screams out to the world,

“Give me your tired, your poor, 
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, 
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” 

If you cannot look into the eyes of a child like Amena with compassion and empathy then you can no longer call yourself pro-life. If you support sending unaccompanied children back to countries where they will be forced into gangs, raped and murdered then you cannot call yourself a Christian. If you are not willing to open our nation’s golden doors for the innocent men and women who are only seeking a better life, then your morality has been corrupted. I am agnostic but believe that wherever the truth in life rests, it must be for those who are willing to reach out a hand to their fellow human beings. Though perhaps my words will fall on filtered ears, where truth is alternative and compassion is mocked. Then find guidance in another. Listen to Pope Francis as he says, “We must not be taken aback by their numbers, but rather view them as persons, seeing their faces and listening to their stories….”

I will remember Amena. I will hope that those beautiful eyes are gazing out at something wonderful. Something healing. I will remember that there are other Amenas throughout the world. In Syria, and Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador, Africa and Alabama. I will think of all of the world’s little boys and girls, men and women who only need a chance to survive, to thrive. Let’s put aside our differences and come together to say that we will not turn away from them, not choose the easy, selfish path. We will welcome them, and look them in their beautiful eyes and let them share their stories with us. Then, in whatever way this world takes us back into it, we will know that for generations of beautiful eyes we made a difference.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Trump Signs Executive Order to Sell Grand Canyon

On Wednesday, U.S. National Parks openly defied Donald Trump’s executive gag order by tweeting facts on the effects of climate change. Thursday morning, Trump took his revenge. Signing yet another executive order, Trump sold the rights to the Grand Canyon National Park to ultra-conservative group, Jesus Loves Corporations (JLC) for the fee of $1. The JLC has spearheaded efforts to take over wetlands, drill for oil in nature reserves and close national parks for drilling companies. They’ve petitioned for the Grand Canyon rights in the past but had always been denied. Trump spoke about his decision: “The parks are mine now and I can do with them what I like. What’s best for the country. This is a great day. Wonderful. Tons of jobs. Tons. There’s going to be money falling from the skies because of this.” 

A JLC spokesman was on hand as Trump signed the order and he discussed their plans for the former national park.  “Today is a great day for those who love Jesus. We are pleased to announce the new site for the “Jesus is My Savior Theme Park and Gun Range,” a wholesome park that will be fun and educational for the entire family. It will bring job growth to the region and increase tourism. At the same time, the park will spread the gospel, something the Grand Canyon never did.”

When asked how they planned to build a theme park in the Grand Canyon, the JLC spokesman stated, “Well, of course we’ll need to fill it in. It’s a huge project, just like Noah’s Ark, but we are extremely thankful that President Trump has agreed to have the federal government help with that part of the construction.” According to plans, it will cost roughly $800 billion to fill in the Grand Canyon with cement. Trump defended the cost citing job creation and the spread of good wholesome values. “The Grand Canyon is not ‘grand’, it is merely a giant hole in the ground. If you had a hole in your backyard you’d fill it up right? I had a hole in my backyard and Mike Pence came over and helped me fill it right up. Felt great to finally put something in that hole. Something beautiful. Look, the Grand Canyon is not profitable but the ‘Jesus is My Savior Theme Park and Gun Range’ will make buckets of money for everyone.”

Construction on the ‘Jesus is My Savior Theme Park and Gun Range’ will begin on Monday, April 17 of this year. According to released documents the park will include such innovative attractions as the Lazarus Rising Rollercoaster, AK47s for Toddlers, The Great Dinosaur Myth Exhibit and The Book of Job Gift Shop and Food Emporium. The highlight of the park will undoubtedly be the one of a kind experiences such as the Do-It-Yourself Crucifixion and the Alter Boy Experience, a wonderful opportunity to have your children spend some enlightened alone time with one of the park’s priests. Admission to the park is expected to be $149 per person, though $499 will give you access to both Experiences as well as your own souvenir bible. Some in the religious community are already excited. Father Michael Carrington of the Church of God but Only My God Not Yours spoke, “I can’t wait to see the legions of boys and girls on their knees and having good time.”

Will this be the beginning of a National Park sell off? Perhaps Trump’s latest tweet might hold the answer, “Told them to shut up, they didn’t. Now one of them is gone. Sad. What do they have to say now? Nothing. New jobs. Winning.”

In Orbson News:

The Orbson Oracle: Reports from the U.S. House of Representatives confirm that after the massive outcry from Trump’s new “Burn this Fucker Down” environmental policy they have decided that they would include partial coverage for both gas masks and oxygen tanks in their new health care program.

Orbson’s Call to Action: Trump’s administration will seek to punish Sanctuary Cities by denying them Federal funds. We should contact the mayors of these cities and let them know we support them. Further, we should commit to prioritizing these cities (if possible) in any vacation plans. That way we support their kindness and compassion with our pocketbooks. Likewise, we should encourage other cities to become Sanctuary Cities by letting them know that we won’t be spending our money there if they don’t. Evidence suggests that Sanctuary Cities create greater harmony between police and immigrant communities without significantly affecting crime rates. In fact, there tends to be better reporting of crimes in those cities. I frequently visit Seattle and Portland which I am proud to say are both Sanctuary cities. How about you?

Orbson Rice's Call to Action: If you are not already familiar, seek out and follow EarthJustice on Facebook. They are an environmental law firm that has a top rating on Charity Navigator. Their tagline is "Because the Earth needs a good lawyer." THE ISSUE: Congress is attempting to rush through three bills that EarthJustice calls the "Dirty Bundle". If passed, these will allow the deregulation of companies that actively pollute the Earth, stripping away protections like The Clean Air Act. Read about the trio of environment shattering bills on their website and then take action. ACTIONS: Contact your representatives and/or make a small donation to this worthy organization. Even $1 can make a difference.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Progressive Screaming - Get Your Protest On!

The fool shouts and in doing so proudly displays his foolishness. A wise person shouts through his actions and the ripples reverberate through society. Around our great nation the demonstrations and protests are underway. Please remember that it was Gandhi who said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” Screaming profanities and insults, or committing acts of violence or vandalism will not change the world for the better. We progressives, who have criticized the conservative right for so long, must not take up their mantle by acting with immaturity and ignorance. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard. We must allow our minds to be in control, and focus our anger towards the goals of progress and positivity.

Progressive Screaming

1. Hey Congressional Democrats, show up to the inauguration. The egomaniac wants the stage all to himself. Deny him. When Trump is asked to take the oath of office, turn your backs to him and sing or chant to demonstrate your dedication to equality and positive change. Wear a sign over your crotch that says “Not for you!” Carry umbrellas with the words “Not ready for Trump’s Golden Age” on the top of them. Then, just as he places his hand on the Lincoln Bible (don’t get me started on using the Bible in a country that isn’t supposed to favor one religion) stand up as one and hand-in-hand walk away singing,

“Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!
Get up, stand up: don't give up the fight!” – Bob Marley

2. Speak only the truth. Sometimes the truth can hurt, sometimes the facts do not fall in our favor. We must show our integrity by embracing all truth regardless of personal gain. We MUST STOP sharing memes and articles that are unverified or clickbait especially from liberal sources. Verify your facts before you say them, post them or act on them. Do not give conservatives ammunition because they will use it to fuel their propaganda machine. Support those groups and news agencies that verify facts, speak truthfully and don’t just have flashy titles with little substance. If we are going to look down on Trump supporters’ ignorance we cannot do so while standing on the precipice of a shaky foundation. Eventually we will fall.

3. Remember who the enemy truly is. Attacking individuals is never the solution, attack the ideas. Then, show the country, the world, your own ideas through carefully thought out planning. Have a platform, a goal and a plan of action to achieve that goal. Highlight injustices while simultaneously showing that there exists better solutions for the challenges facing us. Be honest. Remember, when you factor in those of voting age who did not vote, only 26% of the country voted for him. That means 74% did not. Speak to them. Protest to them.

4. Make phone calls. That has been shown to be the most effective form of protest thus far. Have your representatives on speed dial and call them for each and every thing that happens in this new administration that goes against something you believe in. Be intelligent, prepared, sincere and kind. Contact corporations that support the administration and let them know that while you respect their right to their own beliefs you will no longer be spending money with them. Did you know the Koch brothers own Brawny, Quilted Northern and Dixie cups? Learn about the items you buy every month and then adjust accordingly. Find the companies that support your beliefs and invest your dollars in their products. Contact the new company and let them know why you are making the switch. Even one phone call per week from each of us can change the world.

5. Protest like progressives, with your minds. Sing, chant, stand silently, strip naked, but do it peacefully and with purpose. When someone yells at you, calls you names or throws things at you, do not allow yourself to give in to hate. Sing louder. Stand taller. If you see those abuses happen to someone else, rush to their side, take their hand and combine your strength with theirs. Thank the police for offering their protection. Remember most of them are truly wonderful and selfless people. Bring them cookies. If you do see problems, know your rights. Record them, be ready to send the video to news agencies immediately (have them on speed dial), but do not allow yourself to give in to the rage that we are all feeling. Dr. King, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, and You.

“History has its eyes on you.” People are going to be talking about these next years for decades. We are a part of a fundamental shift in the direction this nation is heading and you my friends are on the right side. Be remembered for how you fight. Finally my friends, know this: Whether you are marching in Washington D.C. with hundreds of thousands of people or there are just 5 of you in a small town in Idaho, I will be there standing with you in spirit. I believe in you. Now go out into the world and get your protest on!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

A Spray of Deception

Today I found myself watching a stream of the Trump press conference. As he spoke of a new Golden Era, I cannot help but wonder whether these lurid Trump accusations that have been showered down upon us lately have been manufactured to keep our attention off of the number one issue. Let’s face it, Republicans are a whiz at deception. Perhaps these latest leaks are merely distractions from the flow of underhanded and terrifying things Congress is actually doing behind the curtain. Perhaps they believe that your innate ability to be easily distracted by shock entertainment will render you unable to see through the mist of corruption. Still you should not be pissed, for we were already aware of the yellow of their bellies. They can try to hide their cowardice and corruption but you should be relieved, because there are many of us who are watching. Here are but a few examples of the rain of deceit occurring in the last few days:

Who Needs Ethics? Congress attempted to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics. The first act of this Congress was to try to kneecap the very watchdog that works to ensure that our politicians act ethically. If that is not telling, I do not know what is.

The Let’s Spend Billions but Not Tell Anyone Rule! House Rules package with a carefully placed addition specifying that the Congressional Budget office should hide the expenses for repealing Obamacare from the public. They don’t want us to know just how much money or how many jobs were lost because of their actions. Transparency at its finest.

The Asshole’s Guide to Employee Management: The revival of the Holman rule which would allow Congress to lower certain federal salaries to $1, essentially firing employees in positions they don’t want them doing. I guess we now know why Trump asked for names from the Energy Department for those working on “Climate Change” as well as names from the State Department for those working on “Gender Equity.”

Introducing The Beautiful Grand Canyon Oil Fields: Another carefully placed House Rules Package trick that will make it much easier for Congress to give away federal lands without reimbursement, or citizen input. One guess who will benefit. Developers who line Congress’s pockets.

I think it may just be time to call your representatives and tell them to put these rules where they belong, in the toilet. As for those of you who are counting, there are actually 14 “Golden Shower” references in the first paragraph. Hey, I may be paying attention to the corruption and evil but that doesn’t mean I’m not still laughing. Can you find them all?