Welcome to the somewhat unbalanced mind of Orbson Rice.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Every Time a Republican Speaks a Puppy Dies.

Why is it that I cannot turn on the national news without seeing some SUV driving, conservative douche bag demanding an end to new taxes? Help me out here; I am really trying to understand. I can see the argument that the federal government is wasting our tax dollars on stupid programs such as corn subsidies or those pesky pennies. I can even understand an argument that the middle and lower classes are already paying more than they can afford. What I cannot understand is why anyone making under $250,000 per year would be opposed to raising taxes on corporations and the super-wealthy. The Democrats are not even asking for much. All they ask is that corporations pay the same tax percentage as they did back in the 90’s. That’s twenty years ago! Now I have not seen the latest census numbers but I am guessing that 45% of this country does not make over $250,000. Seriously, do these people even understand who they are fighting for?

Orbsonites, let me lay down a little knowledge that most of you already know. There is a great myth perpetrated by the wealthy corporations and bought into by Republicans. This myth says that the wealthier a corporation is the more jobs they will create for the average person. This conservative fantasy is called “Trickle Down Economics” and has been used to keep the sheep bending over for decades. As fantasies go, this one ranks right up there with a pygmy goat, a bucket of lube and copy of “Busty Ballet Dancers”. Completely illogical!* A corporation is responsible to its shareholders to make them as much profit as possible. If you are willing to pay $4 a gallon for gas, then they will charge $4. They have no obligation to do anything else. One of the many methods that corporations have implemented to maximize profits is to hire a majority of their labor force overseas. Great for profits, not so good for the average American family. As an economic theory, Trickle Down Economics is failing miserably. Profits are at an all time high while unemployment soars.

Of course the Great and Powerful Orbson would not dare rant without offering some common-sense suggestions. I won’t get into the tax code as I have written on that before. Today, I’ll stick to controlling the corporate monster. Many Republicans want you to believe that everything from Social Security to public education should be corporate-run. I don’t know about you, but I think some programs should never be run for profit. The Teabaggers argue vehemently against big government. However, I think that the government should serve and protect its citizens. This means creating hard-line banking regulations, not taking donations from corporations whose fate you will be deciding, and not giving tax breaks to companies who are not giving back full value. If a corporation has their call centers in India, they should pay more taxes here. Simple, right? Corporations are like teenagers. If you let them choose, they’ll always take the sports car. We need to step up and say “look we love you, but you’re taking the Ford Focus and if you break it, you’re grounded”.

*While this particular fantasy is illogical to me, I in no way condemn anyone who engages in said fantasy so long as the pygmy goat is a consensual participant. Also, should you actually find a publication called Busty Ballet Dancers you can email me at orbsonrice@gmail.com.

Yo Asshole Said Whhaaaaaat??? House Speaker John Boehner told Republicans to “Get your ass in line” after many expressed concern over his latest debt ceiling proposal. Finally, the truth comes out. Follow Republican leadership and get FUCKED!

Orbson At the Movies: I will NOT be seeing Transformers 3 because my favorite robot, Megan Fox, isn’t in it. Anyway, after T2 I don’t think I can take another bout of “who's fighting who”. Seriously, it was like watching CSPAN – a bunch of mindless drones yakking nonsense at each other. Though it was fun watching Michelle Bachmann transform into a hot air balloon.

Note to my Disciples: Yes, another political blog. However, as my page views jumped 300% the last two days, I am thinking people like them. For those of you looking for some brilliant laid back Orbson commentary, don't fret, I am working on some new material that will surely be gut-busting.

Currently Jamming:

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