Welcome to the somewhat unbalanced mind of Orbson Rice.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The State of the Orbson

The midnight hour is here and yet another Orbson blog entry has magically ejaculated itself into the Blogger universe. As I pondered the many topics I could discuss, I decided I wanted to write about The Orbson Oracle and the future of this great blog.

This is the 28th entry since the birth of the Oracle. For the most part, I have been able to do what I have set out to do. To speak my truth regardless of what anyone else might think. In just over a month’s time, I now have 6 official disciples and over 600 page views of those 28 entries. That’s averaging about 21 views per article. Not too bad considering I initially only let 5 people know about the blog. Still, I would love to see the Oracle’s reach grow. I have dreams of the day when Jon Stewart quotes Orbson Rice on The Daily Show.

Which brings me to my current quandary - how do I make this blog grow? Since they don’t make blog enlargement devices, I will probably have to start marketing. I despise selling myself. It was fine in college, but I’m older now and they’re hanging a bit lower. I would rather write down my words and sit back as throngs of people gather to bow at my feet. However the “if you write it, they will come” approach to marketing rarely works. Interesting side note, I have learned that I don’t really like a great deal of my Facebook “friends”. When I went through the 70 odd friends on Facebook I only found 28 that I thought would appreciate this blog. Meaning that 42 of them don’t really share my ideals or sense of humor. I think it may be time for a deep cleaning of the social networking sites.

So, the Orbson State of the Union Address reads as this: Disciples, The Orbson Oracle lives on. The God of Words will try to write words of truth, common sense and humor as long as you continue to read and share my words. I see a combination of Disciple growth and pissed off conservatives in our future. I promise to be more perverse, more inflammatory and more insane in the coming weeks, but you too can contribute. Share the articles you like on Facebook, sign up for my Twitter feed, spread the word of Orbson and for those 15 of you that read my blog every day but have yet to become official disciples, do it now! One day I might have a special commemorative pin for the first one-hundred Orbson Disciples and you wouldn’t want to miss out on that!

Interesting and Odd Orbson Oracle Facts:

Most popular article:Debt Ceilings, Pennies and Stupid People

Second most popular article (and my personal favorite):
Michele Bachmann’s Secret Army of Killer Robot Piñatas

Countries of Origin: The vast majority are in the U.S., however I have readers in Malaysia, Germany, Brazil, Canada, Indonesia and South Africa. That is pretty cool! Orbson Rice is global!

Referring websites: Facebook has been the best thus far but both NPR and The Huffington Post are close behind thanks to some well placed article comments.

Most Recent Tweets:

Is it wrong to lock a group of hypochondriacs into a room with a bunch of computers hooked up to WEBMD? Cuz it kinda makes me smile...

I only tweet late at night when I'm alone. It's like my teenage years all over again, only without lubricant.

Orbson Word of the Day- Special thanks to my Merriam-Webster Word of the Day email for this one:

Defenestration \dee-fen-uh-STRAY-shun\ noun
1: a throwing of a person or thing out of a window
2: a usually swift dismissal or expulsion (as from a political party or office)

I don’t think I need to explain why this is so funny to me. Still, Mrs. Orbson made it even funnier:

Mrs. O: Defenestration? Can you use it as a verb? Like, "I would like to defenestrate this moose"?

Orbson: Hmmm, that sounds a little dirty.

Mrs. O: (laughs) I meant like defenestrate a stuffed moose (she holds up a small stuffed reindeer)

Orbson: (rolling on the floor now) Yeah, like that would make it less dirty.

Mrs. Orbson would like to point out that these were not her exact words. However, as they are the words that I heard, I’ll write them as such. Hopefully Mrs. Orbson will not defenestrate me out of our 3rd floor apartment.

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